My Life ; My Story

2011-09-14T03:25:00.008+08:00

FINALLY! After sooooooooooo....................LONG!

Although yes its holidays for me but then I had been lazy. Lazy to blog, lazy to clean up my room, lazy to go out and even lazy to eat sometimes! But then i guess its alright for me to be lazy for now, right? Because once school starts, I know i am going to be busy again.

Anyway, today i am just going to upload everything ONCE AND FOR ALL! (i think)

MALAYSIA TRIP TO GENTING!

Yes, i know.. I had been visiting malaysia for thousands of times but then do you know how much things i can get there?! Shopping is defintely fun there. The heels there are so much more beautiful than what we saw in Singapore. Like most of them. Although the food isn't nice but then the scenery there is nice! Imagine those beautiful clouds.

Ohkay! I am just going to upload pictures! Its actually all me! Yes, Just me! I didnt take other pictures of my surroundings or whatever. Because the light at some part of the hotel&journey are too soft for me to resist the temptation of camwhoring! So hehe!

This is like day 1? Still in Singapore just about to get into the car and head towards the meeting point! I know this pictures looks super ugly! I dont know why either. Not sure if its the make up, face too big or the harsh lighting. I know its not very nice :(

This should be better! This is taken on day 2! When i finish my complete make up with the new fakelashes i got in Genting!

The photograph that i took my with MOMO while waiting for our FOOD to arrive! I forgot what we had but i know for the whole 3 days, we had been having STARBUCKS!

If i didnt remember wrongly, this should be right before i go to bed on Day 2!

Yes! Finally! Day 3! I know this smile is super awkward but then this is the only presentable photo i took in the hotel! The rest of the photographs were taken on the car on the way back to Singapore.

SEE! How can anyone resist the temptation of such soft light! These were only a FEW out of MANY that i took! But seriously! Without editting and i got this effect, so of course i cant resist the temptation!

A TRIP TO IKEA!

Yep! Not long after i returned from Malaysia, I made a trip to IKEA at alaxandra! I wanted to refurnish my whole room! Changing the positions and etc making it neater and of course more condusive for myself to work in! Who wants to work in a room that piss you off always! So dark and messy! WORST of all! No place to put my work, keep my work and make sure the children at home stay away from my stationeries!

So i made my way to IKEA with my beloved BABY and the 2 kids ( Favian&Felicia ) p/s: I had a hard time bringing them out because the night before, i didnt managed to catch a wink because always! while i am sleeping, there will be either kicks or slaps from Felicia! So yep! I was really moodly that day!

So yep! This is me and my beloved BABY! I really have to thank him for helping me with one of the kids! 2 really can kill! So warning! If you ever want to bring 2 kids out and you know they character! Always make sure there is one more person with you!

I know its me again! But look at the lighting! I think if i were to live in prehistoric times, i would die! Because there isn't technology which means! There isnt CAMERA!

2011-08-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

It had been months since i last upated this poor blog of mine.

Had been really busy with school and even more stuff.
Eventually, with so many things happening around me, I am getting tired.

School is still as busy as ever although its holiday.
Yes, the holiday that i had been looking forward to.
But its also this thought that made me realised that actually i am all alone.

I am getting tired of life not because of my heavy workload but its people around me.
I have to thank all my heavy workload thtat actually take off all these nonsense from my mind.
I miss my secondary school BFF dear.
I miss walking to canteen or rather competing to see who reaches the canteen FIRST!
I miss Xinpei always running first and then me and Jiajing would just ignore her andd step on the stairs together hand in hand. But somehow or rather, Pei never fails to pick out the winner.

I am sick and tired of everything around me.
People are all so fake in a way. Not all actually. I met some nice guys and ladies <3

Long time friends...
Yes, long time friends.
But how long?

I didnt realise that I am the main cause of all the problems.
Yes, i didnt.

I am going crazy and emotional easily.
Yes, I do.

But how many of you did realised that i am left alone at the back,
Walking alone?

我的男朋友不明白，
我伤心。
我的朋友们不体凉，
我难过。

但你们谁明白？

2011-05-17T22:33:00.001+08:00

Dejected.

Depressed.

Disappointed.

Why can't you just spend a little more time and effort? If you really want to salvage this relationship

2011-05-16T08:04:00.003+08:00

credit : http://www.google.com
I know i shouldn't be posting any post now but then, my heart is aching.
So many months together and all the things we had gone through. Why treat me this way?

2 years plus down the road. Ever since i first caught you crying. I stayed strong in hope that miracle could happen between us. I believed that as long as i dont give up, i can replace her. But you proved me wrong again and again. I am tired. Really tired.

if i ever made unreasonable request, tell me.

If i ever treat you badly, tell me.

I hate this feeling.

I just want protection.

I know i am giving up on this relationship...

2011-05-16T02:28:00.001+08:00

if i didn't see anything, would i not be crying...?
I never thought, What i always felt was true.

You're no different...

2011-05-09T01:09:00.002+08:00

Its been a frigging long time since i last blogged. Just started the hectic polylife in Singapore Year. Taken interior design as my course yet i feel like i am dying with it. Yes, its hard and its tiring but seeing your end product never fails to light up my day.

Its been the 9th week i guess that baby left me. AS IN NOT BREAKUP but just that he is no longer by my side like how he used to be. For these 9 weeks, BABY and I can only spend at most i think add together 30+ hours together. And every second and minute means alot to us even IF its just me looking at him and him looking at me.

Stress level is building up again due to the fact that I can never DENY! My dateline for MINI-ME is coming near. Just 3 more days and how am i going to complete it for grading?

My life used to be QUITE colourful i guess. I have plenty of time after school in the past and now, I can only dream of having more time. I know how precious every second is now and i really want to cherish it. Dont really like the feeling of only having coffee and perhaps 1 cup noodle for the night and the night means the whole night till the next morning. T.T

I am collapsing. I SWEAR i am.

2011-04-05T01:12:00.004+08:00

BABY is sicK. Heart pain, Heart pain. These few days have been thinking alot. Just got my pay and guess what? I saw the list that i am supposed to prepare for school! Immediately, i can feel the heat! My pocket is burning
" ITS $300+++ T.T My hard-earned money. And oh! I realised that the shop i will be getting my materials at is near my workplace so at least, this is something good. Don't really look forward to school~ at least for now. Don't know what kind of people i will be meeting and the worst thing ever is, i seldom talk except to those i feel that they are friendly :)
Time really flies, in a blink of an eye, holidays are gone. School is just starting in a week. Everything happened so fast like in a lightning speed. My 2 darlings , 1 isn't the same school as me. We can't eat like how we used to eat in school. We can't fool around when its break time. I will be roaming around the school like how i used to every start of the term because i have to adapt to the new environment. But at least, i know that there is still someone with me. At least T.T
Baby is serving NS for the 4th week. And i am here now, listening to all the craps and me, holding onto my anger. I know i am exploding but i cant because mummy say, I must respect him. OH! FUCKMYLIFE

2011-03-15T15:04:00.002+08:00

Just sent BABY to his camp at Jalan Bahar. Got to get used to living without him by my side for days but luckily, i have a chance to hear his voice every night so its not that bad.

Baby, i will be waiting. I will remain here waiting for you :)

Dont worry, just promise that you'll be safe.

2011-03-05T00:34:00.002+08:00

我突然失去了拍照的意义。我一直以为拍照最重要的是拍到一个好照片。而对我而言，一个好的照片指的是一个充满幸福和自信的照片。但是，在把我认为是一张好的照片拍下，再把它们放上互联网与大家分享时，我好像无意中伤害了他人。

刚刚就发生了那么一件让我不知如何是好的事。原来，那一些我认为是好照片的照片也会成为他人的不幸。

2011-02-17T23:50:00.003+08:00

Ok i think i would start doing the 3rd Day challenge. Its on parents.

Yes this was taken in 2007 during the trip to GENTING. So many years have passed and i had already graduated from JSS. Time really flies..

My family consist of Me, My mummy, My brother, Korkor and yes others. I actually have nothing much to say about it BUT yes ALL PLEASE CHERISH YOUR FAMILY!

2011-02-17T02:20:00.001+08:00

Yups so sorry that i actually skipped the 3rd day challenge. CAME HOME TOO LATE!

So i apologise here!

Not going to do the challenge in straight 30days!Instead, i will do it according to MY MOOD!Since yes, this is my blog!Nothing to blog about really~

Will update more after everything is in control

2011-02-13T23:50:00.002+08:00

Day2- Crush

I HAVE NO CRUSH FOR THE PAST 2YEARS PLUS BECAUSE I HAVE MY BABY! so yup i have nothing to post on this. :D

Anyway, had a great day with my family today! Went to farmart and many other places! Most importantly, i tried the fish spa. Ticklish at the beginning but yes! Its nice. OKAY DONE blogging! Tomorrow is the day i will be going out with BABY

2011-02-13T00:24:00.005+08:00

Decided to do the 30 day challenge slowly since i am rather free now. But before i do so, I shall post about somethings about TODAY. Nothing unique happen recently. At work, everything is going very well, getting to bond even closer to all my colleagues. Still waiting for the package to be here and then school reopen.

Okay! Here's the 30 days challenge 1ST POST!

Day 1-Your Best Friend
NOTE! THEY ARE NOT IN SEQUENCE!

Chua Xue Ning
She is Ah Ning aka my NingNing! Sister of my boyfriend and have known her since 2005. She is the one who tied me and Jingxian together. One of our peacemakers whenever me and BABY fight. She is not only adorable but also lovable. She can be stuborn and really hard to please at times but still, she is still a loveable child. Her hesitation to make decisions make her save up easily and make me so jealous because i can't save as much!

Toh Jia Li
I should say she is the one friend that i manage to be contact in since PRIMARY school till now. She is JIALI! Although she can be really hmm i don't know how to describe her fully but she is really different. The way we communicate in is so weird that most of the others woul think that our friendship should be long gone. She is one of the peacemaker whenver me and BABY fight. Known her since i was like 9-10. Till now when both of us are 17! OMG so olddd.

Gan JiaJing
One of my listening ears who never fails to be there whenever i need her. She is always so cheerful and never have to hide herself. One of the crazier ones between the 3 of us with XINPEI! never afraid to be unglam and like what XinPei said, she is always camera ready with the most beautiful smile. She is always so CRAZY! She always make me find no words to describe her because i don't know what to describe her unique-ness. Mad?Crazy?Jovial?Positive? I love DOGGGZZZ
Toh XinPei
She is my CAT; Pei! She is always full of advice and really usefull ones and never afraid to share any of her thoughts BECAUSE there is really no need to hide. We can talk about ALMOST or really ANYTHING! We both love the dry Guo Tiao at JSS with loads of chilli and she will always add the fishcake! She have a really large eyes and yes i think i big ear because she will always be listening to what i will be ranting and never once complained about it. She will at most give advice and nothing else. She never fails to make me feel alot better whenever something bad happen. She and Gan make a perfect combination as BFF because with them 2 by your side, nothing will make you sad! They really can brighten my day up!

LASTLY

Barry Tan
I don't have his picture but he is my very BEN de korkor or can say JIEJIE! He is really the joker and really knows how to take jokes really well. Never fail to make anyone of us laugh till tears are rolling down. He is really different like a dinosaur. Don't know really how to describe him but he is really awesome!

They all have been with me since a long time ago. I cherish every moment i have with them and this is just a brief summary of how much they meant to me because IF you really ask me in detail, I will just say that they are just to wonderful to be describe using words, expressions or even EMOTIONS! Part of my life, My story. I hope all of this would last long and i believe it will

2011-02-12T01:40:00.005+08:00

I think i just did the stupidest thing of my life. I had the whole post typed out nicely and i copied over ARGH!

Anyway, i think BABY would not be so clever to read my blog so i decided to post about the presents i got before VAL from BABY and what i actually bought for BABY!

Pre-Valentine Present from BABY
Personal Addition to My stitch FAMILY
Pre-Valentine Present from BABY

Nice? I personally love BABY's Cap. I think its SUPER NICE! I know i promised the pictures but BLOGGER dont accept that format and there's nothing i can do! T.T so sorry. Well lets wait.

yesterday went out with XUENING&BABY to Yishun to collect the plushies. had swensens' for dinner and IT TURN OUT BAD! VERY BAD! Bad service etc. Worst thing is when the staff themselves aint sure of who had foot the bill and who hasn't. Joke of my life. They are swensen's! A reputable company in F&B industry. Anyway i am seriousl pissed.

Off to sleep alright. Full day at work tomorrow so the pictures lets just postpone it to other days when i am free, HAHA

2011-02-06T23:58:00.003+08:00

Neglect this blog for so long. But its okay!

This post will be fully filled :D Just came back from CNY chalet and YES NEW CAMERA! Bought Sony Alpha 33. Although its expensive but worth the price. The quality isnt bad and the pictures that were taken were really good!

So yes while waiting for my 263 pictures to be posted, i shall blog about Chinese New Year! This year new Year is slighty different from the other years. This year, BABY spent the new year with me at the chalet that mummy booked which is at Pasir Ris Downtown East. Of course, BABY brought me along this time round to his PoPo house and we had a feast! The soup is really nice! OMG!! I think the rest, i shall let the pictures tell the story. LASTLY! NOT TO FORGET! I SPENT OVER $100 on toy catching! AND I CAUGHT IT!

- Kindly wait for the pictures-

2010-12-07T23:26:00.002+08:00

SO LONG SINCE I LAST POSTED!

So many things happened recently..
Already started working since 15 Nov 2010
Everything was alright EXCEPT SOME THINGS

Missed schooling so much. Especially the naggings of all the concerned teachers and my classmates. Without them, I would still probably think that studying is a waste of time and brian cells since my primary school life isn't THAT wonderful. Miss all the chemistry lessons with Ms Lim, physics lessons with Mr Low with all the A1~ Miss Mr Sam lecturings although i wasn't listening (^^) OMG i miss so many things in secondary school life! XinPei! remember how much chilli i used to add in my noodle and you and GAN would be like JAS ARH! haha Miss both of you so MUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-11-23T20:46:00.010+08:00

I saw this after work

Thats my breakfast yesterday. IT SUX
The drink DEAR bought for me to apologise

The onli picture i took during BBQ -.- PEI PEI our famous ghost

My graduation lunch

2010-11-23T20:37:00.002+08:00

Seriously! i realised everytime when i have the time to update my blog, it will be the time when i am sick because it will be then that i have the time.

1 more day to 2 year although i wasn't really looking forward to it because everytime is the same to me when he is around. <3 Have been feeling nauseous since morning and in the afternoon when i thought i was better, DEAR bought mac for me, it was then i realised that HEY i ain't well after all.

So many things happen lately and have been working at WO AI TAI MEI for a week and its really fun and cozy there. Learnt ALOT from the in charge and made more friends.
Seen different kinds of customers be it young or old.

Grad is over and i have ALOT of overdued pictures to be posted on my BLOG. Shall post it in the next post after this :3

2010-11-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

Seriously! Blogger should improve their photo uploading system. Anyway it had been SO SO SO LONG since I think I last updated. Time flies seriously fast! Like as if it is alot faster than the speed of light.

Started working since 15th of November. Tired these few days and finally a off! On the Saturday 20th of november because IT'S my GRAD LUNCH! so Many things to talk about but my hands and eyes are failing me. They are closing anytime now. 3 more days
To 2 year anniversary. Dear, ily

THIS IS SOMETHING I MUST MUST MUST MUST SAY!
If you haven done anything wrong thing / hurt to others, there would be absolutely no point for mr to bear grudges against you , you idiot

2010-10-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

English paper 1 had just ended. Everytimd took place within that 1 hour and 30 mins. We studied for 4 years for today but only had 1 hour 30mins to prove our efforts. Everything happens so fast. My heart is still racing like crazy but there is nothing more I can do

2010-10-23T00:10:00.003+08:00

It had been days since i last updated my blog.

Yesterday was O levels practical and overall it was okay. Since it is over, why still prob over it?
I had tons and tons of things to update but i had to go to bed soon. Pictures haven been uploaded yet too.

OHH.. when can i update again? I miss the days when Os isn't here yet.

2010-10-09T21:49:00.003+08:00

Wanted to update the photos that i have took while studying with ishwarya today but FAILED~!

So...

Nevermind i decided to head to bed early nights

-Edited-

I had the chance to post the pictures already! Because

I was sick. Our chocolate of a thousand leaves

Stresses Ishwarya

Her purple forks

Our Drinks

Random Snapshot :D

Our work. We are so studious

2010-10-08T22:46:00.004+08:00

Credit to http://google.com/

Today was another tiring day with classes till 5.30pm and continued with night studying. Although I think i had sufficient rest yesterday, i still feel that i am currently surving the night with a heavy head.

I was bathing just now when suddenly alot flashbacks were seen in my mind. The times when i was still young with all my loves one with me. I went to search for withered rose as today's theme because it matches this whole post quite well i suppose. It had a totally different meaning to me. The withered rose seems like telling a story of despair, regrets and shattered. But doesn't it really mean to be that way?

Roses.. They are able to wither in such a graceful manner that even when they are dried up, their darken colour still can be seen in a mysterious and darken way. To me, this was what it meant. Although, its already dried up but it was still as beautiful as ever just the way i remember them to be. Just like my memories, although they are old and were all when my love ones was still around, they still remain as mysterious and yet beautiful in a sense.

I used to think of most of my things in a negative perspective because i never did understand the true meaning of memories. Now, even when i think of grandmother who left us peacefully on 1st Nov 2005, 4.18pm the feeling of tears weiling up in my eyes are no longer that strong. Instead, i am able to feel peace within in or so i think.

Memories are like freezing a video in our mind. They will belong to us until one day when our memory starts to fail us. They can be replayed upteen times a day and without getting loose or spoilt but instead, the memory just got clearer and clearer.

Till now, i am still counting down quietly in my heart to when my memory would further fail me and really make me lose track of all my precious videos

2010-10-08T17:48:00.001+08:00

There is one bad thing about blogging using my iPhone and that is.....

I can't post pictures :x

Dear said he wanted to make sandwich for me. And guess what, he forgot. So I got this conclusion : he can keep his promise to others but never me. FML

2010-10-07T19:02:00.003+08:00

15 more days to O levels.
OMGG~! Time flies..

In an blink of an eye, there is only 2 weeks left before our major paper. i can still remember the time when i said proudly: "Why scared? Still got 3 months ma" But now come to think it. I really really regreted no studying in june. If i did, perhaps i won't be struggling now.

GE2 was indeed much better than GE1 and of course because now, whoo wouldn't have the mood to study? Everyone would be hunting fo teachers as if they are someone really really famour or etc because we really need them now.

Yesterday, JIAJING, XINPEI and I were studying in the library when suddenly one of them asked :"Who do you think among the three of us would do the best?" and no need to say of course is XINPEI. She is talented really in most of the subject. She is willing to learn especially HUMANS since its her favourite subject. If given a chance to hunt down teachers and etc, i think she would be one of the students that the teachers would want to avoid because she would pour rain of questions at them. Thats why i am sure she will do well. As for GAN, she has been doing alot of mathematic lately which is a rare scene obviously. Her maths are definitely improving and she is a potential A student. Oh i forget to mention that both JIAJING & XINPEI are potential A students but just in different subject. Whereas for me, I think if i can score an A for my science and maths, i would be overjoyed!

Lately, night classes had been opened up just for us. I saw how much effort teachers put in for us by staying with us in the school to study. Some, only had their dinner aftr we left which is at 9+ 10. They all have their families yet they are able to scacrifice for us. So i think its only fair that we repay them with good results.

2days of consecutive studying in school is really driving me mad. But i know its already the last lap. The exam that i have been waiting for years. The exam that would really affect my future.
The exam results would let us all leave with only 2 results. One is with tears of joy another is tears of regret.

I decided to head back to my books again.. So shall stop here for tonight. Goodnight :D

How long more to the fun period?

2010-09-29T22:35:00.003+08:00

I just realise I can actually update my blog through my iPhone!!!

Countless nights of nightmares and insomnia. I bet if you ask me right now what would be my wishes for this year, I bet one of them would definitely be PEACEFUL nights! My results wasn't ideal despite the fact that I really did study!! And I seriously need to control the temptations to shop, play and lastly REST! Failed my science by pathetic 0.5 marks how bad can it be? Just got back 7 marks for my social studies which is a good news to me at least, telling mr that what I studied really came out!

Lately, other than spending money on that only pullover I got from XP's blogshop ( cardinalrhapsody.blogspot.com) I spent my money one my new hamster; ballball. She is definitely adored by me! Shall post her pictures probably after this pist if I can upload it through my iPhone. By the way, that blogshop is seriously and I mean SERIOUSLY recommended because of it's good quality service and the effectiveness. I am not saying this to promote this blogshop because it belongs to my friend but because I seriously mean it! It is really good! DO VISIT!!!

Shall update the rest next time! Bye.

Ps: it's less than a month to Os and I am dying!

2010-09-09T09:42:00.002+08:00

Disappointments more than1 whole row in a week.

But what more can i do except to wait?

I was naive to think that his change was that kind of change that i want. But i was so wrong.

I was dumb enough to think that my mum woke me up because we're going out to walkwalk and not because jeremy wanted to get some stuffs. I was superb disappointed.

I was full of hope to get a new phone yesterday because all the phones that i have and i can find are all spoilt. One is damaged by none other than my violent brother. But in the end, only jeremy got the phone.

There was even more.

But seriously other than to wait, what more can i do?

I don't want mum to waste money on getting a new line for nothing.

I don't want my idoitic and loving brother of mine to be afraid of using his new phone.

SO I'LL JUST WAIT!

2010-09-07T19:42:00.001+08:00

ONLY 1 WORD TO SAY:

FUCK

2010-09-03T22:46:00.002+08:00

Long time since i update my blog and the first post in on MONEY!

MONEY

Definition:

Money is any object that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a given country or socio-economic context.

People all AROUND the wolrd says:

1. MONEY is ESSENTIAL!
2. Money is for SURVIVAL
3. Money is EVERYTHING
4. Money can let you get whatever you one
5. Money will never be sufficient enough to be spent

BUT...

Can really money can get ANYTHING..?
Can money get you a family? Maybe yes to a few because due to the advance level of technology now, Nothing is impossible.
Can money get you experince? Not the chance but the experince to do something. & i am talking about a feeling.
Can money get you LOVE? TRUE LOVE! i doubt so. Its too a feeling.
Can money get me peace throughout the world?
Can money stop the increasing of stress level in our human life?
Can money help revive our love ones?
Can money buy our memories?

NO...!

So what if money is essential? People are able to scam, hurt and even KILL for it. Some may even betray their love ones for it. But is it worth it? For survival? Does it really gives us a happy life? Money issues are one of the MAJOR problems in our life.

Some are stressed by money issues that eventually led to their deaths. Some went to beg and lose their dignity over it. Students, fret over money because we can never catch up with the trends. Parents, fret over money because they are afraid of not being able to provide well enough for their children. Some kill for it because of wealth. Some land up in debts and had to steal from it. Some uses despicable methods to get it although they know they'll end up hurting people.

Yes, Money can indeed do us good too. It can help ease our burden like when we are able to afford domestic helpers to look after our love ones while we are at work. It allows us to have another chance to live when we have the money to undergo therapy and operations.

But its also the main reason that led people astray. So what if you're able to be filthy rich? Will you be happy if there were no one to share it with you? I doubt so.

So thats the end. I am just ranting anyway.
-----------------------END--------------------------------

Nowadays, I am so tired. Splitting headache and insufficient sleep. I need a shoulder to lie on just for awhile. Just awhile for me to put down all my worries and sorrows. Daily trip from home- school-hospital isn't enjoyable. I lost time to study, to rest, to take a break. Even when i am typing this post, my lids are getting heavier as the time goes by. If only people could jusy work simply. Without any knowledge needed. If only we were cavemens, i believed their world won't be as complicated as ours.

Results ain't out. I had a dad to worry. Initally i am just afraid of losing hime but now, i want him to stand again and teach me not only to play chess but to also fly kite just like how he used to. I know mummy isn't having a great time either. She is tired but she never once complained. I know she just want us to focus on our studies. Daddy on his part, tries his utmost best to cheer us up when we were there. He just doesn't want us to be worried. Although what he is doing now isn't helping but i appreciate it. It has been a long time since i had a long long sleep, a long hour break from studies and problems.

How i wish DEAR you could be just strong enough for me to rely one.
I would really appreciate it if i had 1 day of rest.
i really wish that DEAR, you can stop asking questions that you already had the answer to.
I really wish all that can happen.
Less worries, less irritation, Less troubles.

WON'T THAT BE WONDERFUL?
But nothing can ever be perfect. NO life, NO one could be

2010-08-06T21:33:00.002+08:00

VISIT http://cardinalrhapsody.blogspot.com
They have SUPERB nice things!

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I am starting to doubt all my FUCKING choices and decisions.
Perhaps,
I am really so wrong about everything.
FUCK MY LIFE for God's Sake.

FUCK my life.
I WILL NEVER EVER SPEAK A FUCKING WORD EVER AGAIN!
WTF?!
I say whats on my FUCKING mind.
Everyone knows i have presentation disability.
FUCK.
EVERYONE USED THIS AGAINST ME EVEN MY BROTHER.

FUCK MY LIFE.
FUCK MY DECISION!
FUCK MY CHOICES!
FUCK MY DISABILITY!

FUCK IT WHEN I KNOW WHENEVER I NEED YOU,
I WON'T HAVE YOU BY MY SIDE~!
FUCK

2010-08-05T18:06:00.002+08:00

Today is the 186th post.

Had been sick for nearly 2 weeks.
Until yesterday,
I then went to the doctor & took an X-Ray.
5Kinds of medicine for me.
Totally SHAG~!

MC for 2 days.
Stayed at home and faced the 2 demons.
COMPLAINS and everything.
I want to just FUCKING run out of this home.

Questions here and there about my life.
Even when i am doing simple typing,
Eyes tend to roam around the screen.
Homeworks need me to help her search.

Headache and pain but no one really cares.
Feverish and sleepy.
Yet there is nothing i can do to make it go away.

FML

2010-08-01T17:12:00.004+08:00

3days ago was my Dear's 19th Birthday.
Went over to his place to cut cake and i bought my Jacket on that day :D

Yesterday,
went to top 1 KBOX to celebrate.
Jiali, Barry. Xuening, Me and DEAR.
I spent $50 in total yesterday and came back with a sore throat T.T

After Top1,
Went to Seoul Garden for dinner.
It was okay.
We seat there from 6.15pm to 9.30pm.
Eating all the way.
So i think i got my $30 worth :D

Ning peeling all of our prawns for us.

Thats the 3rd serving by the way :)

SEE!
I think this is cute.
Jiali already opened her mouth and expect NING to feed her.
In the end,
Ning pass the prawn to Barry and JIALI pout.
Because she thought thats hers HAHA!
My dear's Octopus on stick.
*eeyer*

Today,
I woke up at 6am!
To accompany my MOMMA to the airport and had MAC breakfast together.
Initally,
I have tuition at 11am but i pushed it back and forget to tell the TUTOR the time.
I slept all the way till 3pm.
Had my Medicine and lunch.
Very full.

-Skip Middle part-

I came out of my room to take a look at the 5 baobeis (Small) of the family.
And i saw the UGLIEST sleeping posture.
I rmb smth
My aunt asked me last night :
" How come all your pets so fat one arh?"
N i just said:
"Look at the owner (me) :D"

Anyway,
Most of my pets INCLUDING the dog had a ugly sleeping posture.
I know its from me i think :x

Okay show you the evidence!

My BIBI i think sleeping on the wheel.

STANDING!

I thought PEAR was dead because the weather is so damn cold today.
Who won't think that way?

Until

Pear woke up.
Startled by me HEHE!

2010-07-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

I wantde to post, I really do.
My life is in a MESS ; thanks to my moodswing probs.
I lost the mood to do so.
After i am SURE that it broke again.

I am worng about you from the start.
I thought i know you inside out.
But i don't.

2010-07-10T00:46:00.003+08:00

Totally Shag~!
Wanted someone to talk to.
Like really someone.
Who can just let me cry out and blurt out everything on my mind.

My results are really totally a ________.
I cried this whole afternoon i guess.
I did study yet i didn't do well.
FML

I know i can talk to XUE NING but then i guess she herself too have some troubles.
So i thought,
I can manage but i can't eventually.

You know i wanted to trust you.
But your UPTEEN times of lies had hurt me deep enough to make me doubt your words.
Sorry

2010-07-07T20:16:00.004+08:00

OMG! I HAVE THE MOST NAIVE BROTHER ON EARTH!

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GET SO DUMB TO LET HER TOY?!
FUCK OFF GIRL.

YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM AT ALL.

LIKE YOUR BROTHER LOVES YOU, I TOO LOVE MY LIL BROTHER.

I was like totally pissed off when i reached home earlier.
She avoid your smses and you are still FUCKING waiting for her.
You know truly that she doesn't like you from the start.
My dear brother,
Stand up after the fall,
I believe she isn't the one you are finding.

Finding the right one takes more than time.
It too takes alot of patience and experience to know what is best for you.

Anyway,
I was with XUE NING, JIE, JIALI and DEAR at JP till around 7+.
I am so tired now!
XUE NING bought so many things today.
Although it has costed her a BOMB!
Not to forget that we bought a RABBIT SOCKS for our JIE; Barry.
We know how much he she likes it.
Since she spent nearly 20 mins in the toilet to change.
Later then we know that he was actually playing and admiring the socks.
SO BENBEN right?

I bought the book!
One of the 4 that i wanted to get so badly.
TWILIGHT!
But still,
I am going to get the full volume.
Cost me nearly $80 not inclusive of the other book which cost me $32.

BUT I AM STILL GOING TO BUY!
Okay,
Today i will stop here.
Got to think of what else to post.
This post is short.

2010-07-06T15:30:00.003+08:00

Met up with DEAR for lunch this afternoon.
Ate Duck rice and in the end,
I end up eating 1 more plate of spaghetti.
SHACKS, i think i have already put on at least 100 calories.

Now, i am rotting at home doing nothing except doing some maths.
Which are GIVEN by my tutor.
HAHA!

Last paper of GE1 but i know i am SURELY not going to do well anyway.
I am so bored at home so i ended up playing with the walking stitch my DEAR bought me.
I know i scared the wits out of my gucci.
Haha

Now, here i am blogging
ARGH! my Tabby is so cute.
Love him loads.

And i am definitely missing my DEAR.
Going to make a sandwich for him soon.
Hope he likes it.

2010-07-05T22:55:00.006+08:00

Just realised i have tons of picture to upload :x

From work, Outings with family and yarh my Dear.

So shag nowadays,

I agree that i want to get SUPERB grades for O levels to get into vet science.

To get my DREAM job of saving animals.

But i am totally torn apart.

I miss my DEAR totally

Although i will still meet him eventually because he is still trying his best,

No matter how tired he was,

He would take every chance to take even a glimpse of me.

Ytd, i went to JP around 6 and after 2-3 days,

I finally held his hands once more,

I got a hug from him,

A very warm one.

He bought a walking stitch for me as a present.

Because he knows that i am CRAZY with stitch.

Thank you alot for the present DEAR.

So yup,

I was there to try my luck to get another stitch but i FAILED :(

I miss all those trips with my friends and HIM.

But for my grades,

i must be strong.

4months+ to go.

PICTURES + STORY

So yup,
Met up with ning for lunch :D
End up having fries with MAPLE Syrup.
Decided to make a HEART with the SYRUP but ended up making a MICKEY MOUSE

2 movie tickets at CATHAY!

One on 27June2010 ; godmum's bday

The other is a midnight ticket to watch Eclipse with my FAMILY.

Although my mum fall asleep eventually :x

THEY ARE NICE!

For these 19months & 11 days.
Including those above, you had given me 14plushies in total.
i love you

Caught these 2 plushies after watching the midnight movie at cineleisure.

The bear on the left is what my sis caught with 3 dollars! But the stitch,

We spent about 25?

SPOT THE DOG!

All these taken on my godmum's bday. The plush above is what i caught.
The only thing i caught!

An Qi & SingXuan

All these are taken at work.
Kids at Heartland mall.
The rest are taken on the way to work and of course Maybank tower area.

Yup, My 2 baobeis at home.
Okay i've decided to shorten all my stories.
Because i am tired!

Time to sleep TATA nights :)

2010-07-03T19:00:00.007+08:00

Planned to get these adorable creatures for D for his birthday.
But his mum said NO so yup have to think of other things to get for him.
I want to cry seriously i do, i missed you deeply and called to only know that perhaps,
Day today was SUCKY ttm.
I didn't see him for a day.
I called him but everything we are talking about seems to be so distant.
Or worst,
He isn't paying attention to me,
I Don't Know.
i shouldn't had called from the start. I miss him terribly but there is nothing i can do to see him.
I called and feel that i am SERIOUSLY disturbing him.
I want to hang but he don't allow.
So i was here listening to his background and him repeating what he had said over and over again.

I am bored seriously.
I want to sleep.

2010-06-30T19:57:00.003+08:00

These few days i am so TIRED~!
Exam exam and more exam.
Best thing is..

I don't even have the time to freaking study for the chapt.
Although i know its because of me myself not focusing enough,
never fails to get distracted with some weird stuff.

Science is confirm a FAIL~
A maths, i don't even dare to pin a hope even though i did study.

1st July is my O lvl MT oral exam.
Yet i am still playing maple.
CONGRATS ME~!

Today is our last day together,
I know i surely would miss you,
& i know it wouldn't be easy for us to still be as close.
Time may make us drift away.
But i belive if we both do not have a change of heart,
Everything would definitely still be the same.
19Months and 6days,
Everything still remained the same.
I love you, Dear

Loveyou

PS: I've been CONSTIPATING for SUPER LONG AT LEAST A WEEK! & everytime i sit in the toilet, I WILL TAKE AT LEAST 16mins to come out. - timed by my brother; jeremy lah

2010-06-27T00:31:00.004+08:00

FINALLY, OFFICIALLY
I am here to post on our LATEST family member ; Baby.
Bought when he was 2&1/2 months old on 19June2010.
But the BAD thing is..

HE IS SO DAMN Fierce.
Imagine TABBY afraid of this young GP.
LOL!

Finally finished this week's workshops & met planty of nice kids.
Although i did met some OMFG kids. :x

Anyway,
Pictures coming up.
SORRY for repeats :D

PICTURES

2010-06-19T15:10:00.002+08:00

Next week is our last week of HOLIDAYS.
And after that, it would be the continual of my GE1 exam.

YET I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE MOOD TO PICK UP MY BOOK TO STUDY.
This totally stinks.
The environment isn't right.
I need somewhere cooling, with no distractions and OBVIOUSLY peace.
Like the library.

The kids at home totally ruined my day.
Its not that i don't fucking pity them but then sometimes,
They are just overboard.

FMLFGS!
I totally hate today..
Ended up with a freaking headache.
How i wish i am in the pool now or at a pets shop.
BEST if i am currently doing some volunteering work at the Dog kennel
Or being in a GUINEA PIG farm now.

Seeing all these precious little ones certainly calms my mood and soul.
They are such angels.
Unlike HUMANS who graduately grew their horns.
And then THERE THEY ARE as a ..

DEVIL

2010-05-31T13:44:00.003+08:00

Just plan to upload some pictures i took.

Picture of me and him is taken on our trip to wild wild wet with Barry, Jiali and Ning

2010-05-23T20:51:00.002+08:00

Initially planned to update some pictures of my beloved TABBY.
But my computer failed me BOOHOO~!

XueNing&Jiali now still at IMM waiting for Show Luo.
I suddenly feel as if i am typing like a child or something.
OH GOSH~!

Anyway,
tomorrow will be our 18months anniversary.
ILY Dear.

Nothing great happened lately just that i suddenly feel that
Humans are disgusting.
I mean,
Although yes i am also a human but seeing those poor animals suffering hurts me.

Humans bought them in the fisrt place when they think that AWW..They are so cute.
But when the pets gets old or maybe troublesome,
They will think of 101reasons to disown them.

Think for the animals.
They ain't like us to have the ability to work, to support themselves.
They came home with us without any choice.
When they BELIEVED that they can depend on us,
We threw them out.
Isn't this disgusting enough?

Enough of saying how disgusting people can get.
Tabby seems to have grown up ALOT!
In the past,
When he was on the peepan,
He was like only half or less then half of the size.
But now,
HE WAS BIGGER THAN THE PEEPAN!

Planned to get him a new cage or maybe another playmate too.
IF i ever wished for something hard enough,
will it come true?

PS:
GUINEA PIGS can see, walk & smell since born. They are also able to eat adult food. Unlike other rodents, guinea pigs are born with hair

2010-05-08T20:16:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN WOO
I didn't forget your birthday.

Jiajing FINALLY came to school.
She just recover from her fever.
She better drink more water.
Love you~!

Brought GUCCI to the vet tody.
She weighs 6.20kg :x
Abit too heavy for a 4 years old shih tzu
But she is still a happy dog overall :D

Planned to go the PSR Kennel 9 today,
But can't seem to get an appointment and also,
My mum decided not to adopt one.

I was totally shattered.
Imagine,
Its us who bought the dogs when they are a puppy,
because we think that "OMG! SO CUTE"
But when they are old,
When they are sick and no longer that cute,
PEOPLE TEND TO JUST LEAVE THEM.

They thus lost their beloved family, people that cared for them.
Sometimes,
Humans can be just so heartless.

2010-05-05T15:42:00.002+08:00

Just came home from SUPERBOWL.
Went there after school with XinDaddy, Dear and X.Boi :D
& I ATE THE MOST EXPENSIVE AND DISGUSTING CUP NOODLE IN MY LIFE!
It cost my dear $2.50.
WTF?! _l_

Anyway, started reading again.
Read a book called Cry Silent Tears.
Its all about the life of JOE PETERS (the author himself) since young.
The book takes us back to the time when he was 5 and lost his dad.
And also tells us how much agony he had gone through with his abusive mother and uncle.
ITS NICE!
SERIOUSLY!
I complete the whole book in a day

And Weixin Daddy was like why are you reading such books?
Because i told him about the sexual abuse part :x

Now, i am reading another book known as UGLY
Same kind as the 1st nook.
About the abuse a child went thru.
AND THOSE WHO RESORT TO ABUSE WAS NON-OTHER THAN THEIR MUM& AUNT.
Their dads was the gentle and pampering one.

Had been feeling stressed-out recently seriously.
Be it friendship or studies.
Every little things that happened made me realised that they doesn't really understand me.
I am unable to express what i want to say ALL THE TIME.
Be it to my parents or friends, even teachers.
I also let them have the 'What are you talking about' look.

Seriosuly,
I do have my own thinkings.
I don't like people lecturing me or something thinking that they are better than me so they can correct me.
I do what i want and i stay the way i like.
Hate me or whatever shit i don't care.

But i will never ever let anyone rule my world, affect my thinkings and such.
I just PURELY hate it.

While reading these books,
I realised how pampered i was.
Like i was OVER PROTECTED & LOVE by my family.
They won't abuse me like how the authors were being abused.
My mum treat us like her world&everything.
She will always be there to protect us from any harm that might be done to us.
Teaching us what is right and distinguish us from wrong.

I love her even though she may be hot tempered at times but i still love her.
I saw how much she worked hard for this family,
I saw how much effort she put in to make sure we are happy.
I saw the painstaking efforts of hers just to make sure we will remain on the right tracks.

She let me have my freedom as i always wanted.
Although i admit sometimes or i can say most of the time,
I was over the line.
But she never once really hit me hard.
As far as i can remember.
The only time she hitted me hard was when i was young.

I can still remember how she would be by my side when i was admitted to the hospital due to high fever.
I would remember how she take me along to all the places with her.
I appreciate her efforts of thinking of ways to make sure we as her children, her world would never feel neglected.
She gave us what a mother, friend, lover, bestie and everything could give.
Even something that i think none of us would ever think.

In my heart,
I always remember her as forgiving, loving, patient, family-minded and a strong person.
Other than my MOST respected grandmother,
She was the one.

2010-05-02T15:11:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY ; XINPEI

Woke up as early as 4.50am to prepare for this big day.

Jiajing actually MANAGED to wake up at 5am.

So proud of her.

We managed to trick her.

So clever of us to know that she would SURELY think that we are celebrating in school.
So we just surprise her RIGHT at her doorstep :D

Succeed with a thinking of hers that we are ghost LOL!

Happy 16th birthday pei.

Love you ttm :D

OUTING WITH FAMILY

As you all can see,
I have this weird habit of taking photos of myself whenever i am out with my family.
The day was great.
At least, till the afternoon when i received a call.
It just practically dampen my mood.
I don't wish to continue the whole story because i am purely moodless to.
Its time to at least grow up and think more maturely

2010-04-28T16:38:00.003+08:00

Currently typing this post with GUCCI lying on my lap preparing to go to sleep.
Just came home from school from ANOTHER english common test.
The passage INTEREST me alot man!

Its all about human sacrification.

Now, My leg is both numb and hurting LOL!
Does anyone have any cure for it?
& i seriously have a MAJOR pimples outbreak that doesn't seem to recover at all.
WTF!

Anyway,
This time i am really so damn broke.
No more MONEH!

I decide to edit some picture since i am so bored.
LOL!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And here it is. LOL!

Just within a few clicks.

I am still BORED~!

I wonder where is my DEAR.

Haven't heard from him since the last message ><"

I am such a good girl waiting for him at home.

Although i am actually home because of my muscle aches :X

Where is he?

2010-04-26T21:40:00.005+08:00

My gucci preparing to go to sleep :D
Deardear&Me

The naughty rabbit that PEE on my blanket&pillow; Bu Dong

Trying to hide

SPOT THE PIG!
He came out just to see what i am up to
Taking a nap in my blanket

The clothes i bought yesterday at honey&bee for $40

I Love This is face <3>
I look so bird :x

Smile under the sun

i love this picture ALOT

My eyes :D Okay angle abit weird

The stitches i drew
Yesterday went to ILUMA with mummy&korkor. Iloveit totally <3
Although yesterday mummy is still busy, but i am glad that she at least spent time with me <3

2010-04-23T16:49:00.002+08:00

Just came back from school ; CIP work.
Met many kinds of different people today or i can say this month.
People who may appear to be friendly but they are fierce.
People who appear to be fierce to be loving.
People who appear to be mature to be really child-like.

Just now, when i was waiting for Bus 98 to be home,
I saw a scene that is so firmilar (look so wrong to me).
An old granny was walking quickly towards a young boy.
The young boy's friends mocked at that old granny saying that HEY its that old auntie.
When the old lady arrived at where the boy was standing,
She started nagging, saying that she would call the young boy's parents.
Yet what the boy said was:
Call la, i am not even afraid -to his friends

The guy was supposed to be end school at 2+,
the old granny was waiting there since 2+ till that time around 4+,
From her nagging,
I know she is just worry for her grandson.

Yet, the boy doesn't appreciate it.

I was thinking,
If i could have another chance to go through that particular scene again,
Won't that be wonderful?
I still miss her ; my beloved grandmother.
After her death on 1stNov2005, 4.18pm
I will never forget that very day because i wasn't with her that very day when she left us.
I could only cry and fulfil my promise.

Now 5 years after her death,
I still miss her so.
Everything changed so much including me.
I ain't the old me.
I don't want to be the old me either.

I am so tired this few days.
Why?
I really don't know.

2010-04-20T18:13:00.002+08:00

I am going to sell off my Tadpole plushie [Green] @ $20

Some bloqshops selling at $30!

If interested, DO tag me in my blog :D

TY :)

2010-04-18T15:51:00.000+08:00

I can't forget the pain.
I am sorry.

2010-04-14T22:29:00.002+08:00

this is my 162th post.

So many things happened lately.
I always find my tears falling down.
I feel the pain.
I feel the agony.

I know you never want to end this.
I know you wanted very much for us to last.
I will keep my promise to you...

All i ever wanted is just PROMISES to be kept.
All i ever wanted is just CARE and LOVE.
I want to placed before GAMINGS.

I don't want to be threatened by MIA, Quit School etc.
I just want you to grow up.
To be more mature.
Although i know being with you again would never end my pain but just for your smile. I will endure it
I wanted my happiness. I wanted you to be the one giving it to me. But you are not the one

2010-04-01T18:15:00.001+08:00

I just saw FEL tagging in my tagboard saying that i am a bitch as said by her.
BUT in any other way,
I don't mind.

I am not as childish as her to start using vulgarities :)
ANYWAY~!

GOOD AFTERNOON

2010-03-28T17:55:00.009+08:00

there may be repeats :D

Happy 16th birthday to me

2010-03-26T13:13:00.002+08:00

1 more day to my 16th birthday.
Planned to go out with friends.
Yet i am filled with fear and etc.
Whats going on with me?

What made me so scared?
I don't know.

Imissschool.
I want to attend school.
Still having headache and such.
When will it stop...?

2010-03-23T18:19:00.003+08:00

Randomly added up some pictures from the past.

Dear tomorrow is our 1year4months

Although there are so many things are happened along the way~

I still love you ♥

2010-03-23T17:02:00.002+08:00

There is just PARTICUALLY 1 BIG dog with no balls in my class.
Guess who?!

LOL~!
I was totally pissed off by this.
I don't mind if you scribble INFRONT of me.
But i mind if you do that behind me.
LOL!

I won't mind if you just FUCKING admit it that you did it.
Its always better than how your FRIENDS said it out for you.
In class so SAKI~
Now when i ask,
You are like a coward hiding away.

I don't mind my CLASSMATES scribble on it.
BUT infront of me.
I don't mind~!

But behind me,
What does it mean?
No balls? No dick? No guts? Or you're just not a man?!

SHAME ON YOU

2010-03-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

Was appearantly called out just to choose 2 flavours of ICE CREAM.
But guess what,
The 2 kids had already made their choices. They chose what they want to eat what about the rest? Some FUCKING ignorant kids.

I feel as if i am the one staying under someone else's roof. This ain't my room, this is also HER room as stated by HER. This is not my bed, this is also HER bed. Some spoilt brats i have in this house. Just a simple whinning or ust drop a few drop of crocodile tears, there they are. They won
They got everything they want, toys etc. They command others to do stuffs as if we owed them a living or i can say the whole world owes them a living.

I am so going to fucking save up and move out of this house. I can't do whatever i want. Because they are young, they win. Everything... Whats the use of asking me out so urgently just to choose a simple ice cream when the kids had already made their choice. I suddenly feel that perhaps, I am really not suitable to handle kids. Although i really love kids, i can have utmost fun with kids that are not related to me in any way but not them!

I am seriosuly sick of them! Have anyone even heard of kids at a tender age of 7 scolding CB? Or even a kid who is only 9 scold fucker? NO right? What have this society become? I may be a kid myself but i know i am not AS bad as theirs. They get angry for the most nonsencecal things. Like asking her to wake up for tuition or just asking her to bathe.

She is like snatching my mummy from me. What about her mum? Where the FUCK is she? This is my home, my room YET a simple mistake of accepting them to live here changed everything..
I love my aunt alot..I really do~ But i can't tolerate her kids. She may feel debted to them but this is really no way to handle those types of kids.

This is seriously a FUCKING place known as a FUCKING home!
Who cares about the elder kids, they can manage on their own.
I supposed this is how they feel.

FUCK OFF

2010-03-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

If our friendship were to come to an end, i am still glad that we have memories..
If our friendship were to come to an end, i am still glad that we were once friends.
The times when we are going mad as one, the times when we were singing out loud as one. The times when we used to go out as one. As i am typing this, i suddenly feel so werid. Its seems to be a long time since we really went out as one. The exams, the works, the army life, the schools, the busy shedule. Isn't these the things that kept us busy? Even typing such things on my wall now seems so weird, like i have never once done this before.
-what i posted on my fb wall.

I know everything is soon coming to an end. Our friendship, relationship and such. Perhaps its time to move on. I can feel tears at the brink of my eyes but i wouldn't cry because i know i have memories.

We had all grown up from the age of 9 till now, 14,16,19&20. We all used to hang out together as one without fail. Until the day dinosaur left us for India. Everything seems to be changing around us already. The busy school and exam shudeule filled up most of our times. Even going to jurong point can be hard for us.

The last time we had taken a neoprint, the last time we seemed to have such a bug fight like this. Eveything seems so different. I didn't cry, because i finally understand. Our friendship can be too made up of memories.

I won't ask for anymore everlasting things because i know nothing can be everlasting.
Even the most beautiful dinner comes to an end eventually and everything would just be like Cinderella whom would turn back to how she was after the clock strike 12. To you, it maybe just a fairy tale. But to me, it meant no everlasting...

15 more days to 16th b'day. I dont want celebrate it at all

2010-03-11T22:41:00.002+08:00

I had enough of my current life.
Things isn't going that well.
I feel so dead when i am at home.
I feel so tired when i am in school.
In fact,
I feel that my whole life is ruined!

I didn't turn up for Sports day today, i wasn't feeling well. Woke up with a headache yet there is nothing i can do to it. Had flu and sore throat EVERY morning since a week ago. I am so tired of this life. Facing different stuffs everyday really drain me out. I thought i can finally be a good girl for this year, handing up all my assignments which i already did. Passing MOST of my subject, which i still fail 3 WTF?! 3 important ones somemore.

Mummy isn't coming home early lately. Baking seems to be my only way of distracting myself from boredom, confusion and also numbing me from the stress that i know i am to face everyday. I had to keep my promise to NOT let my mum turn up for another parents' meeting session because i know they hated that.

For the past 6 years in my primary school life, they never did once had to turn up. Only till secondary 1, they seems to be a regular guests to the teachers because i am failing badly. I remember once i nearly got retained in secondary 2. I think without ms seeto help, i won't be able to be here today. She called my mother that day to advice her and also to tell what how i am performing in school.

Initally, i thought that she is just a busybody who wants to complaint to my mum blah blah blah. But i was so wrong. I started to miss her lessons in my secondary 4. I regreted not paying to her lessons when i am in secondary 2. I started to miss her naggings. I start to miss her as my teacher.

Friendship too isn't going that well. She hasn't been in a good mood. Yet, there is nothing much i supposed i can do.

Plan to get a second 'son'

2010-03-10T20:50:00.004+08:00

I am losing my life..SERIOUSLY!

whats fucking wrong with having a guy as a tutor?

He used to be my tutor anyway~

Why get so fucked up?

This year is my Os, i thought you understand the reason for me to get a private one instead of those in centres.

I thought you really understand, i thought you really understand what i am going through now..I was so wrong. You don't understand at all after all. After you seen me rushing from one place to another always. You saw how stress i was, you saw how i finally managed to cope with it. I promised my mum to get a good grade, you know that. You know how important my studies is to me now. But yet you doesn't understand.

I am disappointed

2010-03-07T03:23:00.002+08:00

SiLeNt here...

Sorry DD if i hurted u again...
Sorry...yes indeed i promised you that i will cut down on gaming...
and the candy...sorry i promise...i know...but i kept forgeting...
and the thing i will leave after they finish their sec 5...

Muacks DD...

17 more days to our anniversary...

2010-03-05T10:21:00.001+08:00

DD is Here to Post On DD's Blog...
I Wont Give Up!

2010-03-04T23:25:00.003+08:00

150 post since last year.
Time really fly i guess.
These few days without DINOSAUR jiejie is so quiet.
At least,
Seeing him and Jiali play along
I would be able to feel less stress..

Every thurs and fri,
I would be studying til late.
But i think it would be all WORTHWHILE~

Sorry bryan for making you bleed today.
Guess i was TOO VIOLENT.

I never once forget the promises you made to me.
But i think you had.
Even if you did fulfil.
You only maintain it for at most 3 days.
I am tired of this relationship..
Very tired.
You promised to study..
You promised to cut down on psp and such.

You broke these promises UPTEEN times.
But do you even know that?
I feel insecure and empty when i am with you.
Sometimes,
Even heart ache.
Don't ask me why..
I don't know.

I used to love your bravery,
Your courage,
Your strength.
But now,
You seem so weak infront of me.

I feel so distant with you.
I start to miss the times we used to have when we are friends.
Like today,
My work had manage to COMPLETELY numb me,
Letting me forget that you have again broke your promise.

I remember how you used to call me once you wake up.
Or even at least a message from you.
Now,
Even wwhen you promised me to call or text me,
You never did it.

Whole morning,
I was rotting in class,
Trying to keep myself awake.
Hoping that you could faster start up your pc and text me.
But you seem to forget about that..

Now,
Your psp & gamings seems to have filled your whole life.
I know loving someone is acfcepting him for who he is.
But..
I don't know if i can accept how you are now.

You used to protect me in the crowd,
You used to keep me accompany even if i am baking.
You used to coax me to bed,
Making sure that i am sleeping before going to bed.
Whenever i am in a bad mood,
You used to be always there for me to rant on and on.
And so much more.

But its already the past...

2010-03-01T12:19:00.003+08:00

You disappoint me AGAIN & AGAIN
You broke your promises AGAIN & AGAIN
What more can i expect from you?

You broke my heart again and again,
after you promised to mend it.
You let my tears run down again & again,
even though you said you won't

on 27dec 2009, 2.55am
You said you made up your mind to cut down on psp and laptop,
and more care for me..

But you didn't do it.
That was EXACTLY 1year1month3days

Why let me think that you can do it when you can't?
Why let me shattered into pieces and weep for you?
You said it hurts you to see me sad,
But it was you who disappoint me still

2010-02-28T22:07:00.001+08:00

You shouted at me..
You are so engross in gamings.
Sometimes,
I just so disappointed in you..

2010-02-27T14:38:00.003+08:00

These few days,
Things are not really going too smoothly for me.
I know i may be using some kind of alien english now.
But just let me rant on.

My saturday is took away by AMaths.
I was trying all those questions inside.

Morning..
I felt as if i am somehow like classmates are not treating me as part of the class.
And i guess...
I know why.

I wasn't really looking forward to the collection today.
But i really did made everthing clear.
I bought a cinnamonroll from http://www.wheetoys.blogspot.com/

Said to meet up today at TPY around 2-3pm.
And i too texted her to tell her that i would sms her when i am reaching.
Main objective: is to save time.

She reached so much earlier.
at around 2.05? or something?
I wasn't able to make it.
She cancelled the order and left me with a msg.

I don't wish to waste time. Pls buy from someone else.
Pls manage your time..

SHAGed in did.
I told mum.

She say i was the one at fault.
Say i should only eat AFTER the whole thing.
EVEN though she knew i had ate NOTHING since morning.

She said i was the rebelious one.
The one who is stubborn.
Always thinking that I AM NEVER IN WRONG..

THAT hurts..
really

currently having a splitting headache.
Don't plan to do anything except for rotting in my room till dinner time.
I know i shouldn't becus today is her birthday.
BUT i can't help it

2010-02-25T22:25:00.003+08:00

Just now went to BEETING blog.
A sec 3 girl in FUHUA SEC!
LOL!

bee ting-simin n jasmin:
STOPTREATIN MYBLOG LKE MARKET...DUNALWAYS QURRELIN AT MY BLOG LA I HAVE ENOUGH OF U AL IF I QURREL AT UR BLOG DO U LKE IT OR NT PLZ TING OF HW PPL FEEL LA HOR

Corrected Tag:

Stop treating my blog like a market... Don't always quarrel at my blog LA. I had enough of you all. If i quarrel at your blog, would you like it? Please think of how people would feel

22 Feb 10, 12:53
JASMIN-JASEN: accurate?

22 Feb 10, 12:53
JASMIN-JASEN: if that msg was to me, i just want to say that i am not so childish to really like ask whoever to settle etc because yes beeting have the right to follow, but you are influencing her, Is it still

21 Feb 10, 21:09
JASMIN-JASEN: Is that to me/simin?

21 Feb 10, 18:14
jasen: simin you type of buai lian act lian hoh 1 day God will sure punish you de you jus wait bitce
21 Feb 10, 18:13
jasen: beeting gt the right to follow lol ok,dont think you gt pple to be with you ? we scard la hoh

21 Feb 10, 17:34
JASMIN: if you forget who am i, come my blog i think you will like kinda rmb who am i :3 take cares

21 Feb 10, 17:34
JASMIN: That includes your life. Why not try listening to both parties before deciding what to do :3 I may not be anyone to you to say this to you but then, i feel that perhaps, u need time to think.

21 Feb 10, 17:32
JASMIN: tempted to tag you this. Quarreling and losing a friend over a guy is never a sensible thing to do. Never ask someone to change because no one is perfect. Not everything will be in the way you want.

Can someone FUCKING tell me which part am i involved in the "QUARRELING?"
I may be too mosy to interfer,
BUT...
At least,
Don't say that LOL!
BEETING,
U have to grow up man.

IF I WANT TO SLAP A PERSON,
YOU SHALL BE THE 2nd ONE!

2010-02-25T20:31:00.002+08:00

Today i am very 'LUCKY'..
Hp was confiscated because i thought lesson had already ended,
By Mr Loh

Totally sian the whole day.
No feeling actually
But i can feel my stomach churning..
I know i am not scared,
I know i am just worried.
Worried that DEAR would not be able to find me.

Mr Bakhtair WENT HOME when i wanted to find him JUST to get back my phone.
NAH~
Nevermind...

CT this time WAS a disaster!
Failed ALMOST every sub i could think of.
English,
Was punished BY MS PHUA!
Forget to do my work.
WTF?!

Sometimes,
i would be thinking..
Why the hell can i not just quit school and settle down with a family?
Its easier this way.
I could just stop schooling and just be STRESS-FREE!

I was reading Someone else's child,
I AM SO INSPIRED to be a kindergarden teacher.
I want so much to work woth autistic kids.
I want to know their world.
Although i know its hard,
BUT i know..
I really like KIDS!
Except for the 2 at home.
They are CHAOs at home.
WTfF

I will be donating my toys away.
To lets say..
ORPHANAGE!
YAY!

2010-02-18T21:44:00.003+08:00

Was watching the making of AVATAR
I love the movie even more!
Nothing made me felt this way before.
SERIOUSLY~

I was totally stunned by my results this common test.
ARGH!
I thought i studied enough.
But its not TxT
Its time to work doubly hard!
Heh

6 more days to 1year3months.
Planned to get something for dear.
Its a secret now.
Heh..

I realised,
1 day without your voice led me to sleepless nights.
Without your smses everyday..
I miss you terribly in school.
How i wish i was wish you every now and then.
So that i know you were always seen by me..
And i would never have to miss you so terribly.
iloveyou

2010-02-15T00:51:00.004+08:00

Happy Valetine's day CUM Chinese New Year to all
Thank you deardear for the 9 roses.
Iloveyou

CNY celebration in JSS :D

2010-02-13T15:20:00.003+08:00

i am already certain that we are drifted.
No longer the same in my heart..

I don't know why.
But it just feel different.

Yesterday was CNY celebrations.
The ____ times that i realised i loved 4-1
<3

I was thinking hard.
Is it because we are already oot to talk abt?
Or is it because i am spending too much time with D.
I don know.

你是否真的知道我的想法?
我说我爱你，你相信多少?

我说我和你们的友情好像变了。
你们又有什么想法呢?

-edited-
FUCKED up when they keep asking the same question.
"jingxian korkor coming ltr har?"
"huh~why sunday he aslo come"
"har~why he everyday come?"

WTF LARH~
you don't even like have any fuckin right to judge all those things.
Let alone snatching my room etc. FUCK U

2010-02-08T22:23:00.003+08:00

Fuck up today.
I told mum i scored 30 for english.
I am so damn HAPPY~
But her reply is so damn DEAD

I thought today would be at last well.
Start of the week,
Start of commontest,
Start of ASAP.

But it turn out so wrong.
I am still figuring out what to get for him.
I am still struggling for my studies.
I realised we ain't that close after all.

Last week,
I spent 7 days on school events.
I enjoy it.
Really...
From the mentorship thinigy,
I learnt so much.

From the community service,
I enjoyed the smile on the elderly's face.
I saw how sweet they and their family were.
I saw how they appreciate Mr Taman for his efforts.
They thank him~

Perhaps,
Sometimes..
Thing won't really turn out to be how we want to.
FAMILY..?

Whats that..?
LOL~!

I am here posting not because i want to rant ot anything else.
But i am so DAMN fucked up.
Reached home at 9PM~!
No dinner for me and dear.
Cook spaghetti and heard some childish conversation outside.
OHMY..
SHUT UP

2010-02-01T17:23:00.007+08:00

SWOLLEN EYE T.T

PAIN~

Didn't go to school today.
Initally planned to wake up around 5.30
So that i have enough time to prepare and go out to get breakfast for XP&JJ
But woke up with a shock.
My left eye is swollen.
REASON: I not sure LOL!

These few weekends,
Spent my days shopping and shopping.
Bought my heels etc.
I think my DEARDEAR is SUPERbored when we were shopping.
IMAGINE a few hours none stop.
LOL!
PROUD~!

Sometimes,
I used to think.
When will you exactly grow up...?
I kept thinking and i think i got the answer..
In myheart,
You will always be a kid.
Because thats when i know that you are relax.
You are you when you are with me.
ILOVEYOU...

Below are the pictures promised <3

Dear with friends

CCA display day

Me&jingwen

Rupini&me

Me&Meijin

Kbox

010110

Barry 'jiejie'
Jeremy Posing
Ah ning choosing song
Ah Ting Singing
Dear& me love

TON @ my place

Countdown with deardear,Ning, Jiali & family

311209-010110

After BBQ on 261209

Presents from Axel, Nicholas & Serene jiejie

While walking home after whole night of bbq

Christmas BBQ

Log cake :D

3D avatar with Jeremy, Yuxuan, Dear,Ah ning & Jiali

Baby Jaydon

Consisted of memories from 2009.
Love you guys loads <3

2010-01-23T22:31:00.003+08:00

Today went shopping LOL!
Now having sore leg.

Anyways.
Long time since the last post -.-
I was busy with school work!

Decided to spent $200 on clothes etc.
Not very GUO FEN right?

Dear went working today.
So i went out with Korkor, Ah ning and Jiali :D
Today i guess korkor was bored by the shopping
OH YA PICTURES~!
i forget to upload again.
Having SERIOUS stm~

Dear end work around 9.30pm
From EXPO~
Haven reach my place to 'collect' his sister.
LOL!
My ah ning -.-
><" Tomorrow is 14months.
I feel so insecure today.
Not because that you wouldn't beside me.
Because i realised how possesive you are.

We aren't that close after all~
I don't kow you,
You don't know me..
Maybe we shouldn't start from the beginning.

We don't talk that much.
We don't communicate alot.

I can no longer tolerate HOW MUCH you can give just for GAMINGS~!
I am tired.
Asked you to sleep,
So that you won't be that sleepy.
You didn't listen.
You played to nearly morning.

When i was sick,
You were still playing..
I am tired.
Really tired.
I feel that without by my side,
I can do more things.
I don't have to see you playing with your games.

Talking through messages seems to be sweeter compared to the time when you are with me.
Talking on the phone can lead to quarrel,
Meeting up and spending time but still end up being neglected.

If i can make a choice.
I rather spend my day messaging you,
Meeting up only once a week.
Because i feel that this will be the only way to make you cherish your time spent with me.

1 year 2months NEARLY~
Yet i am still here typing this post.

I think i am giving up

2010-01-18T23:37:00.002+08:00

Its seems like i haven been blogging for days.
Wake up around 5.40am to prepare to go to school.
Its my BELOVED jiajing birthday.
SHE IS OFFICIALLY 16.
haha!

This home is getting quiet slowly.
When i needed family the most,
you all weren't there.
All i seen is you suffering with the pain and agony.
Let go if its too hard.
Don't make us all suffer with you.
Although we never mind.
We just want you to be happy..

He wasn't a good dad nor was he a good husband.
He is a disgrace SERIOUSLY.
I never once hated you/blaming you when you decided to opt for a divorce.
I don't care.

This family is falling.
Maybe you didn't kow how i was feeling.
I was so relunctant to stay home.
I don't want to be home.
I want the old family back.

Being in this family seems so miserable day by day.
Not because of you.
But because..
I feel neglected..

2010-01-16T06:57:00.002+08:00

Didn't heard from you again after you left.
Guess we are really through.
Thank you for the time when you were with me.
Making me smile and teaching me what is love.

But i can no longer take it.
Its my own problem.
Not yours.
You are a good guy.
So you should deserve better girls.

All the best in finding someone you really love.
Sorry and all the best :)

2010-01-13T22:15:00.001+08:00

OMG!
I feel so lazy today.
HEADACHE~!

Don't feel like studying today.
After all those tuition,
I REALISED i forgot most of the stuffs LAST YEAR.

You asked me why i cried yesterday.
I told you because i think i am in stress.
What you replied was...
"Study very stress meh?"

-.-
I suddenly feel that you don't really understand me at all.
Imagine you could say that INFRONT of me.

2010-01-12T23:03:00.002+08:00

This is year is an O level year.
Striving hard just to not let her down.
What did i get in return?

Her care..?
BULLSHIT!

Could tell no one what happened in this freaking home.
I wanted to leave but can i ever do that?
Sometimes,
She does care.
But how much does she really care?

Just made up my mind to skip poly and go for CAT.
She disagree to it.
Because she thinks that its a private school.

FUCK IT!
i hate it.

2010-01-10T00:01:00.001+08:00

We are difting..
No longer the same..

I realised i got more than 20 OVERDUED pictures.
GG!

2010-01-01T00:55:00.001+08:00

Hello!
Happy NEW YEAR!
LETS all WELCOME the YEAR of 2010!

Now beside deardear and ah ning.
Last minute ton-ning at my house.
LOL!

Ok..
Now rotting..
Don't know wad to do
-.-

2009-12-31T15:52:00.002+08:00

This is my 130th post on this blog.
Today is also the last day of 2009..

Korkor asked me today.
I wake up so early
Is it because i don't want to waste sec in 2009.

LOL!

Now lying on the floor,
Beside DEARDEAR
who is appearantly reading what i am typing now.
IDIOT!

Oh ya.
HE FINALLY GOT A HAIR CUT!

Tomorrow going out with friends again.
HEH!
With korkor, Xuening, Dear, Jiali [Maybe], Ting etcetc.
WAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAK!

Looking forward to tonight and tomorrow.

ilovemydear

2009-12-30T15:02:00.003+08:00

Rotting at home with NOTHING to do.
Woke up around 9.50am in the morning.

Jiali said it was a MIRACLE!
LOL!

Tomorrow is the last day of 2009.
So its also time to put everything that happened in 2009 behind
1/1/2010
Is a very new start.

So jiayous for Os.
Get into the poly i want.

For deardear,
Just get good study grades :D

ILOVEYOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHARMAINE TAN !
Girl,
You are officially 15 :D

2009-12-26T07:40:00.004+08:00

Just reach home after 1 night of BBQ.
Everything was alright.
But DAMN moody now,
Guess its because of the sleepless night.

The sky in the night was beautiful.
It was FULL of stars.

Nearing dawn,
The sky became reddish.
And the sky begins to brighten.

Had fun with Dear, Ting, Jiali, Xue ning, Mejin, Barry, Terrence, Nicholas, Axel, Jiajing and last but not least.
AH PEI!

SO much things happen within the night.
But at least,
We know that...
There is nothing to be kept within that FEW of us.

1st time outside ton.
While lying on the bench around 6 in the morning,
I realised i am missing my bed and mummy :3

I think i am still used to being home at that time.
Snoring away.

Anyway.
I LEFT MY CUP THERE!
It was nicely decorated la!
T.T

Oh to be added.
I am FINALLY home because,
I decided to buy breakfast for my family before i head home.
:3
At least,
I remember them haha!

25th Dec 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS & A good gathering.
Thanks organiser,
BARRY

:D
Nights.

Opps.
Just remember that there are like 2-3 pictures to be uploaded.
Shall upload next time.
BYEBYE

2009-12-24T21:10:00.002+08:00

Happy 13month to dear.

&

Happy Christmas

Having BBQ tmr yay!
Haha!
Looking forward to it.
Heh~!

Anyway.
Woke up DAMN early today.
Just to bake a cake for my mum and aunt.
:3

mood spoilt.
Nothing else to post.
GOODBYE

2009-12-22T00:08:00.001+08:00

Watched AVATAR for the 2nd time today.
This time watched it in 3D.

OMG!
I am going to be mad about this movie.
LOVE IT LOADS.

ok larh.
Stop here.
Maybe update again next time.

2009-12-18T11:56:00.001+08:00

Getting bored days after days.
Got nothing to do on the internet.
Games start to seem so boring to me.

Woke up in the morning and found no one beside me.

Okay.....
Nothing to say anymore.
LOST

2009-12-18T00:54:00.001+08:00

JASMIN HERE TO POST UP MY STUFFS!

-RESERVED-

Black Off shoulder top

Bought at $9

Going off at $7

Black KIMONO
Bought at $10
Letting go at $8

Stripe BF Tee
Bought at $10 at bugis.
Letting go at $8

Bought at $10
Now selling at $10.
Bought for a few hours and decided to let it go :x

2009-12-17T22:07:00.003+08:00

Woke up by gucci's barking.

Met nicholas and terrence for luch at aston.
It was nice but SUPER fulling.

I learnt not to cry because of you anymore.
Your words..
Its ain't hurting anymore.

After 3 days of tearing.
It had numb me already.
Not feeling anything in my heart.

Some pity you.
But i think you deserve it.

You lied,
You twisted everything.

I JUST NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
I HATE YOU IN SHORT

2009-12-16T23:05:00.003+08:00

I know i shouldn't be crying...
I know i should be letting go..

1year+...
My heart no longer follows you.
Yet..
I am here crying like a fool for your words.

Why?

Because i feel so dumb in believing you in the past.
So naive to be fooled.

So what if we can still be friends.
I hate you no matter what.
You told nicholas they all that you want to apologise.
But whats the point of apologising when you've already hurt me.

I don't need apologise.
I don't want to see you.
Thats all...

Apologising won't make anything better.
You lied because you are afraid of the scoldings you would get from your mum.
But you never once let yourself to be in my shoes.

I feel like a complete idiot for crying.
Stop my tears please.
I don't want tears to be flowing down again.

Thank you terrence, nicholas, Tingjun, PORCUPINE, Dear, Ning, Meijin, Jia li, Pei & Jiajing
For being there when i was so damn low.

Thank you for lending me your listening ears.
For trying to cheer me up.
For worrying about me.

Sorry & Thank you..

2009-12-15T23:29:00.004+08:00

He were the one who knew ALMOST all of my stuffs.
YET..
He was the one who lied and twisted every fact.
He was the one who i used to love so deep; so madly..

I finally seen his FULL true colours.
When i finally wanted to get my $150 back.

Together for 2 years,
He told his mum.
We were ONLY friends at that time,
Never go 'steady'...

He held my hands, hugged and kissed.
He told his mum...
He never once held my hands neither had he touched me.

He knew about my family problems etc.
Yet he told his mum..
'Mummy, don't tell me you believe her words...'
When all i said was true.

His mum asked me.
If you were his gf,
WHY didn't he bring me up to let her see...
It was because he told me...
His parents don't allow people to go their place etc.

I paid for ALMOST all your stuffs.
Now,
I just want some back...
Is that wrong?

When i said i will be saving up and
Return the money and stuffs you bought for me,
You said don't need etc.

$150 was what i helped you paid for your handphone.
It benefited you.
But yet,
It doesn't pays to be goodhearted.

An sms from you:

Nah.. I decided wun give back and dats all..
And u wun see anymore of my smses or calls..
Likewise i hope u wun use nicholas they all to ask them to tell me to give back..
Somemur e ting alrdy happened so long,
if dat time u din give me money out of goodwill, all tis wun happen..
we wun be friends anymur.. Tats it

I never wanted a friend like you.
THe way you twisted every fact just to protect yourself.
Your poor mother had to sell her handphone away just to return me the money.
After you took the $150 to buy the handphone,
I only manage to take back $50.
Why?
BECAUSE the casing had already cracked.
No sim card,
No Charger.
NO NOTHING.

Why?

Because you are obviously keeping them for yourself.

After what you had taken from me..
Everything...
I want to tell you this.

You ain't a real man.
You are a disgrace.
I hate you.

2009-12-15T22:37:00.002+08:00

I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AT ALL IN MY LIFE.
I HATE YOU!

YOU WASTED 2 OF MY YEARS WHEN I CAN BE WITH EVEN BETTER GUYS.
YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT WHEN I WAS WITH YOU..

SAMUEL GOH WEI LIANG,
YOU ARE A BASTARD.
YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED.
FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU

2009-12-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

LOSS OF APPETITE!

I never knew for the past 2 years.
He never once treat me as a GF when we were together.
We were only friends..

I wasn't heartbroken.
I wasn't sad.
I was just feeling so stupid.
I am so naive to believe every words he said.

ANYWAY...
VISIT THIS BLOGSHOP!
http://wads-urstyle.blogspot.com/

I am selling away some of my CLOTHES!

2009-12-14T00:51:00.002+08:00

FINALLY, DD YOU'RE HOME!

Made up my mind not to take the $150 back.

Take it as i donated to some ass hole LOL!

Doesn't really have things to post.

So just want to say..

GUYS...!

NEVER ASK YOUR GIRL TO PAY ANYTHING FOR YOU!

LOL!

goonights :D

2009-12-10T22:20:00.003+08:00

I can no longer see if our relationship is in

LOVE or INFATUATION

You asked me whats on my mind.

But there is nothing..

Nothing at all...

I don't know SINCE when....

I realise i can never confide in you..

Which couple don't want to spend as much time together?

But between us..

Most of your time is SPENT on gamings.

I know you love gaming.

I know its your hobby.

I know you can't live without it.

But do you know..

I can DIE of loneliness?

thats why i chose to work.

because it numb me

2009-12-05T22:56:00.002+08:00

If this is how everything would turn out to be..
I rather not be part of it.

If i knew this is how it would be.
I would wish to never know you.

PERHAPS...
Things are no longer the same.
I can no longer take it.
Let me out of it.
Let me not be a part of this.

I hate it even more

2009-12-05T02:49:00.002+08:00

GOT REALLY NOTHING TO POST LATELY

I don't know what to say,
I don't know whats on my mind.

Going to work is almost my daily routine.
I am really loving this job.
LOADS & LOADS
The people are very fun too.

These few days,
Everytime i work,
Dear is always there with me.
Making sure that I will never be alone to go home :D

Thank you DD

To 2 of my beloved GF:
Relationships can be sweet yes i agree.
But they too can be bitter.
I always treat the bitter ones as lessons that i learnt.
And always wanted to thank the one who hurted me that deep.
He is a bastard.
Even worst than you can imagine.

But i can too let him out of my mind..
I belive you can too..
Furthermore.
You have me and _______ [ You know who ]
So just cheer up.
ILY

At least there are once happy memories.
That can kept for the whole of your life
Cheer up and all the best

2009-11-27T23:03:00.001+08:00

TODAY IS FUN FUN FUN~!

Went to work today at Century Square.
Did CASTLE...
OMG!
ILOVETHEJOB

Okay.
Anyway..
THere is this child call benedict.
His korkor say can call him BENBEN~
SO CUTE LARH~

Don't Feel like posting anymore.
TIRED

2009-11-24T09:20:00.002+08:00

I thought anniversary are supposed to be celebrating the one year that we have been together.
I thought anniversary are supposed to be sweet and full of laughter.
I thought anniversary are supposed to be memorable.

I was left in the middle of the night,
Crying in silent.
I don't want you to know.
I don't want you to be unhappy.
But i can no longer surpress the feeling.

Its not about being late for wishing me.
Its about what you said that very night.

"Do you have to make our anniversary turn out this way?"

I used to look forward to every of our anniversary especially today.
But days ago...
I started to feel weird about today.
Insecure in every manner.
I am reluctant to celebrate it.
But to prevent any misunderstandings,
I celebrated it.

But this is what i got.
Tears dropping.
Till the time i went to bed.

I never really wanted any gifts.
I just wanted a memorable anniversary.
Not a tearful one.

I thought you would never make me cry anymore.
I thought today would at least be a cheerful one.
Why am i wrong...?

2009-11-21T17:12:00.006+08:00

i too have messy look sometimes
She is cute TODAY!

Went to interview today
SO DAMN FUN!
I am going to love this job.
Did 8 crafts today.
SO FUN.
OKAY!
I am going to let the pictures do the talking.