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Sunday, May 31, 2009 10:17 PM ♥
Ah pei tagged me and ask me to post.
So here i POST!
I MISS XINPEI TOO
Just now,
Was doing some stuffs for TOMORROW...
When ____ turns 15.
She is old alrights?
I am looking forward to the dinner with the 2 beloved hamsters.
I am looking forward to 31July'09
I am looking forward to 24Nov'09
Deardear... Be strong. I am always here with you... I love you
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Thursday, May 28, 2009 9:19 PM ♥
Today was SUPER boring day.
Forced to school by MUMMY!
Slack in class with Jiajing and Xinpei as usual.
And I am really super FUCKED UP with YCS.
He sux to the core man!
I realised although love can be pain at times, there are still at least memories to be kept within us. Some are able to keep replaying the same thing and move on. While some can just hope that the memories can replay, and everything would be the same in the past. There are somethings which are meant to be kept as a memory. While some are meant to be a valuable lesson. One must take initiative in order to get what they want. If one refuse to take initiative, Perhaps both would be remained the same no matter what. Miracle will happen when on strongly believe. Labels: Do you believe in MIRACLE
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 8:34 PM ♥
What the fuck?
What for still live in this fucking world?
No one understand anyway.
You,
Him,
Parents,
NO ONE AT ALL!
Say understand me are just SHIT!
I don't like to be critised.
I HATE IT!
I don't like to be controlled.
I HATE IT!
In this fucking world,
Tell me who have no hair?!
So what if its disgusting to you?
No one ask you to see it.
My parents give me these.
So you have no fucking right to comment on me.
How would you like it if i say your skin is so damn disgusting?
YOu won't like it either.
Banged the door.
In the end?
He was fed up.
I can't even express myself,
I can't even vernd my anger?
Everyone can.
Why can't I?
AS if you never vend anger on me before.
I was damn fucked up.
I was like forced to say out what i don't want to say.
I have my rights.
But now what,
I AM LIKE A PUPPET!
SPEAK whenever you want.
Can't even have secrets for myself.
While you?
People force you to say,
You throw temper.
Me lei?
You can force me to say.
DOn't say you give me attitude.
WTF logic is this?
I AM UNHAPPY!
DAMN DAMN UNHAPPY!
I rather i am not home.
I rather i am alone.
I rather stick with Jiajing and xinpei.
They will at least know when i want to speak.
And when i don't.
Why can't i even have my own speaking rights? Why can't i choose whether to speak or not? I too have my behaviour. I too have my life. Don't try and control it. Or i will let you see the other side of me. So what if she is like 7 years younger than me? It doesn't makes her any better. She too have genes given by her parents. And they are not very pleasant themselves. You too have body hair. So what right do you have to comment on mine? They are all gicven by my parents. And i love the way they are. p/s Don't try to act as if you know everything about me. I am not that easy to understand like i may seem to. I don't say a thing when i don't want to say. Don't keep forcing me. Because this will irritate me even more. Labels: FUCK THIS WORLD
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009 9:53 PM ♥
Came back from Woodlands.
Went to collect the superman polo tee.
I love it loads la!
Deardear accompany me go.
But because he stomach pain so yeah!
He was sleeping on the bus.
Took my stuffs.
Then headed back to jurong by 187.
AGAIN!
Stood for 1 hour!
Are we pro or what?!
Alighted at 496.
Met up with Jia Li.
Bought deardear 's dinner , my dinner and Jia Li food also.
I bought 1 milk tea also..!
Reached home.
Deardear napped awhile.
I eat my dinner with Jia Li.
When we finish then deardear come and eat XD
After that,
Deardear play his PSP
And i was busy cam-whoring.
Too bored la!
Don't know is because of the food or what.
After eating,
Felt like throwing up.
Told deardear but..
Yeah..
Hahas!
I got flashbacks again.
i was really really very very unwell. I wanted to lean on you but you moved away unknowingly. i thought you would show me the care like you used to towards tingjun. But i was so wrong. I know its wrong to compare but then... flashbacks are coming back again. And i hate the feeling... Really.
I seems to remember what you did to her. And tend to compare. But then, I can never get what i wanted. I am very unreasonable. I am very selfish. I wanted everything to go according to my wishes. I want everything to be done with my ways.
So i am starting to be uncertain about this relationship. I hope what i am afraid of won't come through. I want to cherish you more than i cherish samuel.
Perhaps like what you said, Samuel hurt me too much. So i never trust. But i can't help it.
I know you given in alot. But then... I just wanted more than that. Maybe because i want you to be mine. Just mine. But i know its impossible Labels: i know its all impossible
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8:02 AM ♥
Today never go school.
Because I just don't feel like.
Just ate vegeterian bee hon with mama.
DAMN full.
Yesterday,
Went to school as normal in the morning.
Wasn't late.
"MR ANG! I not late!" { Random
Was nagged by Mr sam in the morning.
1st period.
Then went to do the stupid student survey.
After that was photo-taking.
I was like OMG!
Because i need distribute their name taggings to the boys.
But i don't know who they are.
And because i am too short [ beside them ]
I can't find those i need to find.
Then Samuel goh was like.
Wah , Jasmin you still don't know who we are arh?
6 Months le leii.
Then i was like I really don't know ma.
Next was Chee How,
He say my service very SLOW!
RAWRS!
Then sat between Mr Bahktair and Pei during photo-taking.
Was fun la.
But then feel odd.
--------------------RECESSSSS-----------------
Follow by Mrs Ching lesson.
Nag again.
WTF?!
Last was....
Mr Bahktair Lesson.
Worst lesson ever.
Was critisized dao siao!
WTF?!
2 person was missing from class.
____E____&____A_____
Mr Bahktair was damn angry la.
A went to his CCA and din turned up for lesson.
He was angry because he feels that we don't appreciate him at all.
He booked the panel room because the bright sun,
Doesn't allow us to see the projector clearly.
And also to keep us away from the sorching hot sun.
Yesterday was a very hot day.
So he scolded us.
And we are like...
Hais..
WHat to do?
Everyone said that 3-1 is the worst class. We are just a bunch of students who can't study gathered up. If we can study we weren't be in this class etc. But no one really knows that, This won't even help. This will just let us feel even more discourage. Starting of the year, 3-1 gave me the most memorable lessons. Teachers were fun. I love going to school then. But after that start, I hate going for lessons. Because we are demoralised by almost most of our teachers. Even if we said they we studied, How many eventually believed? Our POA teacher, Never stop scolding for once. Never stop being sacarstic. And we don't like it. 3-1. So what if we are the worst class? So what if we are not united? We may seem to be not united but we are. So what if our aggregate scores are all above 230? This won't mean that we are able to score well. Secondary standards and primary ones are different. So don't always compare these together. They belong to different world. I am seriously tired of all these fucking critisims. School teachers. They look down on us. So what if they say they can help us do very well? So what if we need their help. We still hate to be loked down upon. Tuition teacher. So what if your children are so bright? Each child has his/her own ablities right? So what if i can't get the grades you want. Or i can't make it to your expectations. Or my ablitiy? I studied and you all knew. So what if i can't make to JC. I don't care. I never want to make it to JC anyway. But do you know how hurting it is to say that, I can at most make it to polytechnic. But would have hard year? Even if i make it, i would just have to count myself lucky. WTF does that meant? I am too a human being. Alrights? Labels: ):
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Friday, May 22, 2009 1:14 PM ♥
Today get back all the papers.
The results are reallu disappointing.
Eng-F9
A Maths-F9
Science-F9
E Maths-C6
POA-C6
Chinese-B4
Humanities-B4/B3
SEE HOW PATHETIC IT IS?!
I studied so damn hard and this is what i got.
WTF?!
I was damn sad.
I cried.
Once again...
I cried.
I disappoint my mummy.
I AM DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.
I failed 3 subject.
And only passed 4.
Its all at the margine!
I AM REALLY SO DAMN SAD!
if i had known this is the result. I would maybe have studied even harder. I would have studied EVEN if i am having the worst gastric. I would have studied till i land myself into hospital again. Sorry mummy.. This time.. I think i really did my best.
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 9:18 PM ♥
Whats the point of coming when you are so damn tired?
Whats the point of telling me that you are stressed by your exam?
I don't know.
I too had my exam.
I am also stress.
SO?
I still made it.
I told you that I also had exam.
Whats your answer?
"Then you try taking it"
You know what..?
ITS FUCKING HURTING! Don't i know whats stress? I know. I also feel stress. Whats the point of having a couple ring when everything is not even stablised? Whats the point of you coming to accompany when you came to sleep? Whats the point of telling me that you are going to bed early. and when i hanged up, you played all your games. And the next day, You throw temper at me. and tell me that you are tired. I may be unreasonable, I know. But, ITS ACHING BADLY! Labels: FUCK OFF
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10:30 AM ♥
Yesterday went to collect couple ring at MOSHIMOSHI jp. As you can see. The engravings isn't very clear ^^ Yesterday was the last paper I had. Elementary Mathematics. I had fun doing it and took the whole examination time to complete it. I realised I had to learnt something. Even if i don't know how to do 1 question, I had to move on the complete the whole paper. Thats my aim. As usual I completed the entire paper. PROUD! Then ate with whye lin, Xinpei and Jiajing. Slacked till like 12+ Then went to the deng mi meeting. 3 more days to competition. JIAYOUS! After that, Went home ^^ Then at night went to JP to collect ring and eat. Ate Mac with deardear, Jiali and niang. Then returned books. After that collected our couple ring ^^ Deardear thank you for the ring. And perhaps I was just purely tired yesterday. So didn't really talked much. So yeah. Thank you for the ring. I love you Labels: Smiling through the rain
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Monday, May 18, 2009 10:28 PM ♥
Today isn't a wonderful day...
Went to school as normal in the morning.
I forgot my Thermometer =X
Lucky,
Wasn't seen by Form. ^^
Can tell that he tried to hide it from the DMs for us.
Thank you~
The chemistry paper.
It isn't as hard as i thought it would be.
Its somehow all the basics.
Thats all.
Then deardear came to fetch me after school.
Waited for me for 15 minutes.
So sorry about it.
Then went to Jurong Point.
Met Chia Li.
Deardear was very tired.
So he slept at MAc while we eat.
Then when Chia Li come,
He then wake up.
After that went to Minitoon to buy a lanyard ^^
LOVE IT!
Next went around to buy couple ring ^^
FINALLY!
Bought 1 pair from deardear aunty there.
A black one.
Deardear was damn pissed out by me.
Because IDK everything.
But then,
I really don't know ma.
Hais
Don't want post anymore.
Deardear, perhaps you didn't realise that i was really nervous. I was lost, I didn't know what to do. I felt really odd infront of your relatives. I was LOST. Sorry that i made you so pissed of. But i was really lost and don't know what to do at all. It wasn't intentional at all. Thank you for the ring still. I love you Labels: 5 days more to 6 months
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Sunday, May 17, 2009 1:03 PM ♥
  Took pictures against my black "mirror" WHich is actually my wardrobe ^^ THIS PROVES HOW BORED AM I AT HOME! Deardear i miss you so so so so MUCH. Nothing to do at home. No baking materials, No drawing materials. Nothing to cook. No one to talk to. OMG! Deardear why do you have to work on SUNDAYs? Mum is out. Dad isn't back. No one is home. Except my brother and the tutor. Wth. BORED BORED
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12:35 PM ♥
 Random PictureDeardear had to work today. SAD! Was bored since moring so did some editing of pictures and template. Now my blog is FULL of pictures. Quoted from XINPEI♥ : "A picture speaks a thousand words" SO yeah. My blog is FULL of pictures. ARGH! When can I get my C905? Haven used my old number for SUPER long. Because I lost my phone. WTH..?! Am I pro or what? Deardear, you have to work today, And can only accompany me in the night. Take care of yourself and don't tire yourself out. Thanks for the present ^^ I ♥ you 1 More Week to Our 6 Months anniversary Labels: ^^
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Saturday, May 16, 2009 9:54 PM ♥
 Today was surprised by deardear. And yesh. He brightens up my day today. Deardear I love you. Thank you for the eeyore ^^ Using your 1st pay to buy it. I also realised I have many photos that yet to be uploaded. So yeah. Its all in the bottom of this post. ENJOY!
 After our A maths remedial.
Went out with Dulcia, Xinpei and Jiajing
 1st may.
Celebrating Xinpei belated birthday.
Jiajing and Yeetheng torturing Eeyore  After Exam,Went to JP for lunch With Yeetheng, Jinyee, Jiajing and Xinpei  HAPPY BELATED To XINPEI1st May. Our Bugis trip
 Hope all your wish came true Jiajing is trying to reach for the ceiling when she know she cantProudly thrown by Chia Shi Hui Me zilian-ing at BLSS Museum Night Chia li and me We have known each other for 5 years. Hope our friendship would last forever. Although we are always quarreling, But we ten to forgive and forget. Thanks for your care and concern towards me. And all your support when ever i need you to
 Deardear, Why ain't you here Lil Bro and me WAHAHA! I am alone on the bus 98 upper deck Ah niang, DOn't need hide le
 She is so happy thanks to Chia Li
 Lastly, Jiajing torture her curry rice.
Labels: I love CJX
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2:20 PM ♥
Currently feeling damn FUCKED UP!
Its none of gucci fault la!
WTf..?!
Ask that fucking old man to keep his mouth shut.
Then my dog won't run out just to bark at him.
If he hadn't irritate my dog in the 1st place.
Its like not even my fault la.
The fucking maid didn't close the fucking door.
Then the fucking old man did some irritating noises to irritate her.
Then gucci went down barking.
And its my fault la.
Glare at me for?
Feel damn FUCKING uncomfortable.
Damn painful.
Damn numb.
What the hell.
16May I hate this day.
Today jiejie came home.
With the video of her follow up.
ITS A BOY!
The fetus was reluctant to show his...
Because initially no one knows whether its a girl or boy.
But now its confirm.
Oh my gawd.
I miss deardear badly.
And hate that fucking old man deeply.
So what if he watch me grow.
I ain't the young child he knew.
When i saw jiejie follow up video. I was thinking about her. I wonder what made her so persistent about giving the baby up. I suppose she too understand that she don't want to be burdened by the child. Although ths child is gone. I hope he will be watching over her in heaven. Because she was his mum...
I told myself. If i were to be pregnant too. I will surely bring the child to this world because. I caused it to be born So i will pay full responsibility.
World is really complicated~~ Labels: 16May2009
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Thursday, May 14, 2009 10:19 PM ♥
Perhaps its just all my emotions.
Its just pain and sadness i feel now.
Really...
I just to break free from the pain. Thats all. I was never angry.. I was just sad and stress-ed up. I don't know whats causing all these emotions. But i know that I really need your support now. I need you by my side. I need your care.
I want to ease the pain. I want to relive the stress... I want to be happy. I want to go back to the past. Thats all.. Currently, I am trying to hide my pain and sadness behind my smile. I want to put on a mask. So everyone could just see a cheerful me. I don't want to share my pain witht the others Labels: --My mask is attached to me
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8:07 PM ♥
These few days manny things are happening.
Deardear and I are quarreling for the past 3 days.
I feel really so damn FUCKING stress.
I am giving up.
I need a break.
I want to break free from this pain.
For the past 3 days,
We are always quarreling.
I feel really very neglected.
I told him but...
Things just won't get any better.
I can feel the pain.
I can feel the tears falling...
I can feel the emptiness in me.
I just want his care.
But...
Why can't i have it?
We used to be so happy...
Spending each day sharing our laughter and happiness.
I still remember the times we used to spend together.
And i really missed it alot.
The stress and pain are building up on me.
I really need a break.
I wanted so much to cry out the pain..
the stress.
I can no longer hold on any longer.
I want to end everything.
Its all too tired.
I gave my best this time.
To Ace my subjects.
At the same time...
To sustain my relationship with him.
I thought after being with him,
I wouldn't feel this pain and sadness ever again.
But i was so wrong.
I am facing it once again...
where is the happiness you once promised? where is the happiness you said you would get back for me? where is all the promises you made to me? when can they be fufiled? do you know that i am still waiting? do you know that i am still waiting for your care? do you understand the stress? do you know how much i wanted you to spend time with me? do you know how hurt i felt when i was left out? do you know how much you had neglected me? do you know exactly what i ever wanted? do you know... you are the one i wanted to cherish~ Labels: i want to end it all...
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 5:17 PM ♥
Back to post again. WAHAHA! Currently beside deardear... He is playing his laptop doing his stuffs. [-.-"] Yesterday went to JP. Bought 1 stitch. DAMN CUTE LA! Eh back to today again. Just now went to eat KFC with xuening benben&Deardear. I ate Zinger meal... Same as deardear. Ah Niang ate Toasted Twister meal. After that headed home. Today exam was so damn sian. SERIOUS! I finish the paper around 30mins before the paper end. Then slept (^^) Tomorrow shall post the video and pictures i took today. THEY ARE SP ARTISTIC! Labels: RWARR
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 12:37 PM ♥
Yesterday quarreled with deardear again.
I was half asleep ma -.-
------12May'09----------
Just came back home from school.
Actually not just now la.
Came back quite long le.
I was damn sad alrights?
I worked so hard,
I studied so hard for my MYE.
And all i get was SHIT
I revise and revise
Having tuition almost daily.
Ain't i working hard enough?
I want to prove to you all that i am not the old jasmin alrights?
I turn over a new leaf.
I am no longer staying out till late at night.
No longer play a fool.
No longer hang out with my friends.
No longer drink so much.
What more must i do?
I just want to do my best for my exam.
Izzit that difficult?
-----11may'09---------
Spend my day tuition-ing again.
Thats all i do isnt' it?
-----10may'09-----
HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!
Served the cake to all mothers.!
The cake is made by me la!
Then went to find deardear.
He fell asleep.
Cause too tired -.-
He start working already thats why.
Deardear xin ku ni le.
Then went to JP bought sushi for luch.
Headed for Gan Mummy house and visit her.
Since it mother's day.
Spent a few hours there.
At night went to Orchid Country club for dinner.
It was all packed lo!
But lucky got make reservations.
HENG ARH!
Then serene jiejie and family also caome and dine at the same place.
Her stomach was BIG!
So too wished her Happy mother's day.
---------9may'09-------------
Morning tuition again.
Then baked cake.
WAS A SUCCESS!
cos' it was the cake that was served on mother's day.
At night,
Pangseh deardear.
Went to mummy's friend's chalet.
BORED!
Ate curry was YUMYUM!
Then of course ate other stuffs.
The food is nice.
But the people there,
their attitude SUX!Labels: i will prove you wrong
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Wednesday, May 6, 2009 4:28 PM ♥
Today as per normal.
Went to school XD
Normal school day so of course normal day la!
I was damn tired in the morning RWARS!
So wasn't listening what Mr Bakthair lesson.
SORRY!
Then was POA
Wth?!
2 hours and ok.
ENDURE!!!!!!!!
Didn't fall asleep XD
Then early recess XD
PROUD!
HAPPY!
Ate rice but SAD today don't have the fries i want T.T
Then went back to lesson again.
SIAN!
Chemistry lesson.
BORED!
Trying to act guai XD
E Maths!
Lamest lesson!
Ms Lee leaving le.
Going JJC to study.
I WILL MISS YOU!
I did something damn proud today!
I drew on Nelson's hand again.
This time got maths formula de ok?
PROUD! DAMN PROUD!
And guess what..!
Mrs Chuah is so damn lame la!
$0.20 for each toilet entry.
HOW LAME can she get.
I suggest her take 1 table go toilet outside sit.
Then like the public toilet like that.
Go in must pay de.
JiaJing reaction damn cute de la!
She asked Ms Lee toilet build toilet for?
And my answer to her is...
"Jiajing, Its to collect school fund"
WAHAHA!
End my post here.
TIRED!
Later must cook le XDLabels: Deardear..Wo ai Ni
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Monday, May 4, 2009 10:18 PM ♥
Just now suddenly thought of something.
OMG! Heartache...
Because I finally realised that there is no turning back.
Something I really cherish alot.
I lost it already...
I keep thinking that one day,
We would all return to the past.
The past when we are happy together.
But it never came.
I knew you all hated me.
I accept the fact too.
Because I can't keep you all with me anymore.
People do change.
My friendship which i cherish the most,
My friendship which i want it to last long the most,
It ended.
Deardear, Sorry about just now. But i really thought thru alot. I really think that Xinyi is really right I ain't mature enough for you. Comparing to Tingjun and Xinyi, I still have a long way to go before i trully understand whats love. I already lost the friendship i cherish most. Hoping that it would come back to me. Only to realise that it was all a dream. A dream that i have to wake up from. Labels: I realise I miss the past alot
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Saturday, May 2, 2009 11:18 AM ♥
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
FUCKING MORNING!
FUCKING CLASS~!
[except girls..YOU ROCKS OK?]
DAMN FUCK LA!
Its like i tolerated you calling me KINGKONG..
But why the fuck end up so many people calling?
You know its like being damn fucking insulted la~!
I today lost my temper in class...
Its still not the worst.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
FUCK OFF CHEE SERN!
FUCK OFF GABRIEL!
FUCK OFF NELSON!
Its been years since i really throw my temper ok?
Don't let me come out One day.
I am not who i may look like.
Don't know my temper well...
THEN JUST GET LOST!
You may step on my tail accidently.
I can tolerate girls playing jokes on me,
Because they are mature enough to know when to stop.
Gabriel...
Don't act as if the world is yours.
Diam la Diam La.
Thats all you said?
Other then bullying girls,
What more do you know?
If you really so despo for SEX!
Because your are always showing off your SMALL dick.
Then go to geylang!
OK?!
JUST FUCKING GET LOST! Labels: I love XinPei, JiaJing, Yee theng and all the girls in 3-1 ^^......Thank you aunty for the amulet
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1:21 AM ♥
I understand why Jiajing say if you really love someone,
You will never cry even if he leaves you.
Because there are precious memories with you that ould last with you throughout your life.
I really want to go on.
But I am just too tired to do so.
I am ow tired to continue this post,
Whenever it came to my mind...
IT JUST HURTSLabels: 2may'9
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Friday, May 1, 2009 9:45 PM ♥
Today went out with Yee Theng, JiaJing & XinPei!
So SO DAMN FUN~!
met up with JiaJing at 1.
Yee Theng was late.
Bought 1 4'inch cake at icing room for Xinpei!
She is OLD!
Then went to buy Baby Eeyore for Xinpei.
After that,
Yee Theng go return disc at 3rd floor. [JP]
Follw by me,
Go Basement buy SUSHI!
Met Xinpei there and saw Mdm Wong with her Husband.
She don't recognise any one of us la!
Then went to take MRT.
Meanwhile,
Was teasing XP!
She have to please us in order to get her eeyore.
And she is like "I want eeyore..I want eeyore"
Then she helped my drink finish my milktea.
And guess what.
She say I have to get for her the eeyore XD
Then nevermind.
I went to bought tickets for the MRT trip
When I came back,
XinPei had to do IT already!
She is tasked to Shout "JiaJing is tall" and "I want eeyore"
To where i am standing.
At least got 2m ok?
WAHAH!
Everyone was looking at her.
So she did it and got her Eeyore ^^
Took MRT to bugis ^^
Went to Don't what Top KTV.
FULL!
So in the end,
Walk to eat QQ Noodle house again XD
While walking.,
I ate my Sushi ^^
Share with XinPei also ^^
Yee Theng ate Curry Noodle,
JiaJing and XinPei Also.
I ate the same one again XD
Its nice ok?
Before eating,
We were like celebrating XinPei birthday.
With Xinpei Cake ^^
We sang the Birthday song so LOUD~
Whole place got echo ok?
Then one guy ended for us.
A WOO~
We don't know him at all ^^
After eating,
PICTURES!
And Jiajing was playing with the cream.
SUPER ER XIN!
One uncle walked pass,
And say.
How come the curry like that de..?
Opps.
We ruined its reputation la.
PAISEH!
Then after that,
Went BUGIS.
Bought fake Eyelash and Smoked tube ^^
Then walked for don't know how long...
Shall not go into detail.
Just say that..
XinPei step until lemon cause Jiao Suan -.-
Took MRT home.
Then later about 9+,10
Went to eat POPEYE at Terminal 3.
DAMN FULL!
Now Home ^^
Going to be pig ^^Labels: FUN FUN FUN
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Attached to Chua Jing Xian ♥
♥__14Feb'09
♥__16May'09
♥__19May'09
♥__14Feb'10
GOOD results
Same position at the same time.
